Spoilers! (The Following Movie Gets a Rating Between "Uggh" and "Eeh")

Seriously.

I really should be finishing my English paper.  (Half way done, Miss Winkler, if you happen to read this post).

But I was thinking about how yesterday, I went over a friend's house and met up with a couple other friends to do what friends do when they don't go to homecoming: have a movie night.

So we watched The Happening, and as freaky as some parts were, like the fact that the movie was about people killing themselves (sorta), the dialogue was enough to keep me grounded.

Seriously, M. Night Shamallama?  Mark Wahlberg?  I could not take him seriously.  Andy Samberg got that impression down (I'll link at the end, if I remember).

I mean, in the movie, the dude talked to a plastic house plant.

Then when he realizes he's whispering to the plant, he's like:

"It's plastic.  I'm talking to a plastic plant."  Break. "I'm still doing it."

That was when we all cracked up.

Or like when Elliot (Marky Mark) finds out his wife Alma (Zoooey Deschanel) had a date with another man, he's all like, "You know, I went to a pharmacy, and there was a really good-looking pharmacist behind the counter.  I asked her where the cough syrup was and I didn't even have a cough."

Hilarious.

A couple of times the dialogue sounded like an middle-schooler wrote it, but the fact that most of it was coming from Marky Mark's mouth healed the wound (somewhat).

And, get this, WHERE WAS THE ENDING?

The movie moved so fast that by the time the crisis "ended", we still didn't know how to wrap our heads around it, which probably solidified Faith's thesis that Shamallama was poking fun at how humans overanalyze things.  Props to Mr. Alaimo.

So yeah, if I ruined the movie for you, there really wasn't that much to ruin, and sorry.  Really, I am.  Now watch "Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals" and you'll feel much better.

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